Whether you’re ready to start seeing the men your parents want to introduce you to, or have already found someone you love, spending your life together is a whole different ballgame. Once you start living together, you begin to see what it is like to actually be around each other all the time. While this may sound rosy and cosy, that’s not always the case.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing your work after marriage, and nor is there anything wrong with choosing to stay at home. Independence comes from being able to make your own decisions and having a mind of your own. Whichever you choose to do, make sure that you speak to your partner before marriage. Giving up your career out of the blue when he’s used to a working woman can come off as a rude shock that can affect the overall dynamics of your marriage. Having the conversation beforehand can ensure that both of you know where you stand.
2. Financial savviness
Here’s the thing, no matter how much your husband may love your outfits and indulge frequent shopping, there’s always going to be one thing on his mind that can cause friction with regards to the excessive shopping: saving for the future. If you both aspire to make milestone purchases in the future, the two of you must save your funds in effective ways, like investing in a ULIP. However, if you continue to blow up your funds, it shows a bit of a disregard for the future the two of you are planning together and can be quite putting off.
3. Your own interests
As an individual, you must have your own interests. Of course, it’s fun to do activities together as a couple but it’s equally important that you have your own things to do as well. Everyone needs their fair share of space, no matter how much they love each other. You mustn’t think of this as a rejection. After all, your interests and hobbies are what help you grow as a person and you probably love them as much as he loves his own hobbies. Keep your individuality intact to stay the woman he fell in love with, instead of melding into the same person.
Now, obviously it’s not only the woman’s job to keep things spicy, but as individuals, both of you expect a certain level of adventure from the other. Be open to new experiences and encourage new ways to spend time together to keep things fresh. Of course, there will be days when you will be bored out of your mind while hanging out with your spouse, but that’s natural and you shouldn’t judge your marriage based on that. Find ways to inspire each other and that will be a great way to keep each other excited and happy.
You’re probably thinking, of course! But here’s the thing, unconditional love is not easy. Sometimes life can throw a curveball at you and lead to a lifestyle that doesn’t match the one you dreamed of. It’s easy, and sometimes natural, to look for someone to blame and often, it’s the spouse that bears the brunt of it (if only he had planned for the future and made some investments!). But it’s important to remember that you’re both in it for better or worse. You must be his true partner and continue to love and support him, rather than only belittle him for his mistakes. Remember, life is cyclic and everyone has a “bad period”. It is important not to let this bad period take over your marriage completely.